The new academic year is already well launched, but in the USA and other countries the “Labor Day Weekend” brings the vacation season to a close. Eileen and Jojo are back to school. And once again I feel a bit “lost” to the transitions and changes of routine that for many years set the rhythm of my life.
I continue the pattern of life that chronic illness has set for me — a kind of surreal form of “house arrest” that is not terribly burdensome. I have my books and access to information and communications technology on a massive scale. Aside from battling a bit of depression, my mind remains very much alive and engaged on many things. Almost every day, I have a segment of outdoor activity, where I walk the grounds around our house and in the neighborhood. I have not tired of our little patch of earth. I work with digital art for a portion of each day, and read and write during another portion. We watch some television in the evening. I pray, and try to “participate remotely” in one of the many live-streamed Masses available on YouTube throughout the day. Then, each Sunday, I go to Mass — my big outing of the week — and family usually gets together on Sunday afternoons.
I get tired easily, and then things are not so clear. Usually I have to nap every day.
I’m beginning my 60th September (I can’t possibly be 60, can I?). Half a lifetime ago, I was in the process of moving to Italy. Yes, that was 1993 … that’s what 30 years ago feels like. Ah, Roma! You will forever be “my home.”
Exhausted. But there is so much to do, so much that I want to do. I have spent a lifetime refining my ability to understand and share my gifts. What will become of those efforts? Something still burns within me — something that, it seems, still needs to grow and be cultivated to bear fruit.
I pray and pray, knowing that everything is in God’s hands.
