Ten Years Ago: "Marked By The Fire"

I found this rather intense poetic reflection posted ten years ago today on the blog. I can't say whether or not it was prompted by any particular circumstances at the time, or whether it was a more general reflection on those periods in my life when I have found myself "wrestling with the angel," or "contending with God" (in a sense) as if I wanted to convince Him of my terrible, inexhaustible need for Him.

In my youth, I exulted in my own strength, aspiring (without knowing it) to conquer the universe and perhaps even God's revealed truth by the power and lucidity of my "beautiful mind."

Then I found myself plunged into the dark, and I was compelled to "wrestle with" the Mystery that I could not contain, struggling to find a place to "hold on," and finally begging to be held, to be "blessed" so that I might walk the long narrow path day by day with humility, with obedience to the signs in life that point the way forward, with many stumbles and many hindrances.

But I was no longer walking alone. I could no longer pretend it was possible to travel by my own power.