We who want to follow Christ in good faith can so easily become afraid, confused, defensive or cynical.
It's hard to be true disciples: to be living in the world — with a vital affection for the good and a compassion for concrete human realities — while at the same time sustaining the awareness that we are not of this world.
We become insecure, because we ourselves depend too much on the vanities of this world that are passing away. We are too anxious to define our identity on their terms, which can lead us to try to conform our lives to these vanities or else become sad and self-doubtful when they don't affirm our Christian vocation.
This is not surprising. We are weak and full of vanity in our own lives. We so easily forget that the foundation of our lives is the transforming love of God that comes to us through Jesus Christ. I forget all the time, every day.
What is really wonderful is that sometimes I remember Him. I remember the reason why I exist, and the One who is the meaning and fulfillment of all things. He is source and sustenance of that memory, and I want it to grow in my heart, in all our hearts. Yet, why is there this "insecurity," this fear of being loved by God, this "lack of faith," lack of trust?
I want to bring this to the Lord in prayer.
I pray that God would touch with His creative and transforming love that deep place in my heart, and in the hearts of so many people, where we are afraid of Him — afraid of losing ourselves if we let Him love us "too much." I pray for greater trust in Him right here, right in this place where we try to resist Him because we think He wants just to destroy us; we fail to believe that it is right here that He wants to lift us up with His love and make us new and whole.
Jesus, give me complete trust in you. Jesus, you are my Lord! Jesus, I believe in your Infinite Love for me. You thirst for me. Make me the person you have created me to be.
Jesus, on the cross you understood me. You suffered me. You knew and you embraced my terrifying fragility, my weakness, my fear. You know the road of conversion for me; you are that road; you have died on the cross that is me, and you are rising in me in a love that heals and transforms.
You love every single human person, without exception, especially those who are the most lonely, the most troubled and confused, the most burdened with affliction. You love those who do not know you, but whose hearts have been made for you.
Jesus, show us your beautiful face.
Jesus I trust in you.
