
One of the main reasons why fathers are given authority in the household is because otherwise they would starve to death.
Then there's little tweety-bird on the other side of the table. Josefina is carefully removing each onion slice and placing it (neatly) on the side of her dish.
"What's wrong with the onions?" I asked.
"I don't like the onions."
"Ohhh," I replied. "You know what? If I were an onion, I would be really sad if Josefina refused to eat me."
"Why?"
"Because I would be so lonely on the side of the dish. And I'd be so sorry not to be eaten by Josefina."
So she thought for a moment, and said, "Would you want me to eat you more than anyone else?"
Oh no. How did I let myself get into this position? When you have several daughters, you have to be careful not to play favorites. I always tell them that I love each of them in the special way that only she can be loved.
That sounds like a political answer, but its true. Why does every woman think she's special? Because she is special. Its not a competition. Right from the beginning, every girl should grow up with the awareness that she is a gift. Fathers should foster this awareness.
This can't be done without attention. And real attention is difficult. It is an interior thing. It is the fruit not so much of a self-conscious effort, as it is a kind of sacrifice, a self-effacement that makes space for each person to be the object of a special appreciation and gratitude. Of course, sons also need attention, but with different accents (that's a topic for another time). Every child needs this from his or her parents.
I've never been very good at self-effacement. And its not a matter of being timid or passive. Its a matter of humility. Humility is the habit of wonder and gratitude in front of everything. Humility sees everything coming from the hand of God. It is a grace for which we must pray.
Getting back to the story: If I were an onion, would I want Josefina, more than anyone else, to eat me? I deserved this question. I set myself up for it. What do I say?
"Well," I said, "If I were your onion, I would want you to eat me."
Hahaha. Back to the dinner. Josefina continued to add to the arrangement on the side of her dish.
Finally I said, "Bring those onions over here. I'll eat them!"