We must trust in Jesus. But why does this seem so hard?
If trust is something we are afraid of, then we must ask Jesus to take the fear, to heal us, to open our hearts so that we will be able to trust in Him. Whatever we are afraid of, we must bring it to Jesus, and let Mary help us.
And we must keep asking, keep praying, never give up.
God's plan for our lives is to heal our hearts and enable us to love Him. But we can't see this with our eyes. We need faith. We need to reach for God from wherever we are. He is with us and loves us and will open us up to that love in the way that He knows is good for us.
He wants us to ask for Him, not because He is holding back, but because He knows that it is by asking for His love that we open up space inside ourselves to receive Him.
I have begun to realize that I just have to give everything to Jesus. That means especially the feeling of resistance that I have toward Him, the feeling of wanting to keep myself because, in some ways, I trust myself more than Him.
I just have to give the whole big mess to Him and say, "Jesus here I am. Change what needs changing in me. Enable me to trust in You. Enable me to open myself. Come to all the hidden places where I throw up obstacles to Your love. Come to all the places where I am hurt, where I am damaged and afraid and cannot see that You are here for me."
That is my prayer. Dear good merciful Mother Mary, hold me, carry me.
