My desire is to have a passionate attention to reality, but to be free of that reductive, manipulative attachment that tries to imprison things within themselves. I want to follow the true dynamic of reality, which is to point beyond itself precisely from within the depths of its own truth, goodness, and beauty. I do not want to be trapped within the limits of my own perspectives and my own projects. I want to live as I have been made to live, to open my soul to the ecstasy of being. But I must abandon myself....
Jesus, how do I let go? How can I really let You take control? When things are dear, its hard to let go, its hard to have faith that this reality won't be lost, but rather that it will be fulfilled in You. Its hard because I can't see how--I don't see the connection. Its seems dark, this place between losing and finding. Help me Jesus.
That is where He is, precisely in that place. His suffering bridges that darkness. I don't understand how. And dwelling on the fact of His presence can bring courage, sometimes, but I must admit that usually even faith in Jesus Crucified feels like groping in the darkness when it is immersed in the struggles of life.
Still, He is here. He is with me.
And there is His tenderness. Mary. The Woman, the Mother, who shapes everything with gentleness. She brings that tenderness into every place.
